• Andrew Lynch

REEL NEWS: MARCH 9TH-MARCH 16TH

This week; Coronavirus, COVID-19, CoV, SARS-CoV, ‘boomer doomer’ and other things, because we live in the darkest timeline obviously. honestly, it’s been a hell of year.


COVID-19

Okay, let’s try to track this from the beginning:

-Numerous film releases were delayed, following the trend set by the Bond film No Time To Die last week. A Quiet Place 2, Mulan, The New Mutants (for the 78th time since the first trailer came out 2 YEARS AGO!) and Peter Rabbit 2 (I guess they made a first one), have all been delayed with no new release dates announced. Fast & Furious 9 does have a new release date, with fans forced to wait a whole year for the live-action cartoon.

-Festivals such as CinemaCon, TCM Classic Film Festival, and Tribeca Film Festival have likewise, followed SXSW and been cancelled, as well as major events like E3 and Coachella

-Films and TV shows in production around the world wear shut down with projects like (breeeeeeeeath in); Falcon & The Winter Soldier, WandaVision, Loki, The Little Mermaid, Shang-Chi & The Legend of The Ten Rings, The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman, Riverdale, Stranger Things, The Batman, The Matrix 4, Jurassic World: Dominion and the Avatar sequels. So, thanks movies, it was fun while it lasted.

-Cinemas in the worst hit areas of Europe including Italy and France have been closed, while in USA most theatre chains are limiting number of tickets to confer with the arbitrary safe distancing practise. LA is the only city to have cinemas be closed after the mayor, Eric Garcetti, closed recreational venues like cinemas and restaurants and bars. So now you can finally get through that Netflix stuff you’ve been ignoring to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S or The Office for the 325th time this year.

-Finally, in the most devastating of news, World’s Only Decent Actor in Hollywood Left winner, Tom Hanks has contracted the virus along with his wife Rita Wilson. The pair are quarantined on the Gold Coast in Australia, which for any Aussie, is a sickness in itself. Other actors like Idris Elba and Olga Kurylenko have also been diagnosed with the virus.


Now, for some more, light-hearted and enjoyable news as society crumbles around us.


Max Von Sydow Dies

Oh, come on!


Swedish actor Max Von Sydow passed away aged 90. Best known for playing chess against Death in The Seventh Seal, Sydow brought credibility to projects, similar to Shakespearean trained actors; whether it be Emperor Ming the Merciless in the Queen music video, Flash Gordon, or by sitting in a tree as the Three-Eyed Raven in Game of Thrones. A wise, old priest The Exorcist, a wise old dessert hermit in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, and the ultimate wise man, Jesus, in The Greatest Story Ever Told. He had a type, but he was good at it.

Max Von Sydow (1929-2020)


Guardians to Appear in Thor 4 (Th-Four)

Finally, something remotely good.


Vin Diesel claims that the Guardians of the Galaxy will be set to appear in Thor: Love and Thunder. Neither Taika Waititi, Kevin Fiege or anyone else involved has confirmed this, but Vinny D said; “Thor will also, the director talked to me about Thor, will incorporate some of the Guardians of the Galaxy”.

The ‘director’, is Taika Waititi, and after Thor is left with the Guardians at the end of Avengers: Endgame, ignoring his lesson of worth and thrusting his testosterone at the equally obnoxious Star-Lord, it makes sense the galaxy savers will appear. Most likely towards the beginning of the film, before Thor sets off on another adventure with Valkyrie and the new wielder of Mjolnir, Jane Foster. Thor: Love and Thunder is currently set for a November 5th, 2021 release date, but as recent events have shown, don’t hold your breath.


Black Widow Trailer

One of a few films not delayed is Marvel Studios’ 24thentry, Black Widow, which released a final trailer.

The trailer focuses on the big bad, Taskmaster who is seen watching Black Widow’s fight in Iron Man 2 (he must have a Disney+ account), and mimicking Cap’s shield techniques, Hawkeye’s archery, the kicks and flips of like 70% of the Avengers fighting styles, and the claws of Black Panther.

Set between the events of Captain America: Civil Warand Avengers: Infinity War, Black Widow will look at Widow’s past in Russia and how she manages to copy her ‘sister’ Yelena’s, played by Florence Pugh, hair and outfit.


Mulan Premiere Reactions

Well this is awkward.


The live-action Mulan premiered in LA at the Chinese Theatre with initial reactions praising the film for its impressive action sequences, call backs to the original, romance and empowering themes.

Disney might have made a live-action remake that isn’t a blatant cash-grab fuelled on nostalgia, but it’s a shame we’ll never get to see it and instead must hold on to the dream of creative remakes of beloved IPs.


Weinstein Sentenced

Human gremlin, Harvey Weinstein has been sentenced to 23 years in prison, giving closure to hundreds of people impacted by his predatory presence in Hollywood. It’s nice to know there is still some justice in the world.


Jungle Cruise Trailer

‘Charisma: The Movie’ has released a full-length trailer, offering banter, action and meta-humour. So, a standard Disney, live-action, action movie just with less masks and capes.

The ‘The Rock’ and Emily Blunt movie feels like a mix between Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean, with a swagger captain, evil Germans, and a quest to find a mythical place that grants immortality. Wow it really is just a Pirates movie. Jungle Cruise is set for July 24th release, for now.


Dracula Film from Blumhouse

Off the back of The Invisible Man, Universal are moving ahead with their Monster Universe, again. This time with less focus on interconnectedness, Universal are partnering with Blumhouse again for a Dracula movie. Karyn Kusama, director of Destroyer, Jennifer’s Body and Aeon Flux, has been announced to direct.

Much like Warner Bros/DC, Universal focusing on making good films first, might actually result in a cinematic universe people care about.


Soul Trailer

Bring your tissues cause Pixar have a new movie coming out. After dealing with emotions and the acceptance of sadness and exploring the Mexican concept of the afterlife, Pixar are gonna teach kids and adults about the idea of creation of the human consciousness. As you do with a kids animated film.



Soul looks to be another gorgeous, emotional entry in the oeuvre of Pixar’s tear-jerkers, with Jamie Foxx’s soul witnessing the creation of human souls and identity and trying to convince Tina Fey’s pessimist the beauty of life.

Soul is set for a June 19 release.


Scream Reboot

So, Scream is getting a reboot. Cause after rebooting every 80s horror franchise, Hollywood now has to start rebooting 90s ones. The one glimmer of hope is that Ready Or Not directors, Matthew Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, will hopefully bring their gothic style to the reboot.

Following on from the upcoming Candyman reboot, and the failed Blair Witch reboot in 2015, get ready for that anticipated I Know What You Did Last Summer reboot. Creativity is dead, yay!


Early Digital Releases

Finally, to combat boredom in self-isolation or quarantine, studios are pushing up the digital release of recent movies. The Gentleman, The Invisible Man are all getting an early digital release as well as Birds of Prey, so hopefully it will make the money it deserves. Disney have also released Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker early and released Frozen 2 to Disney+, 3 months in advance.

So when you run out of things to watch on Netflix, Amazon Prime or Disney+, guess what, there’s even more content.

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